This is the story of my recent and current journey over the past year. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in January 2019. I have written poems to express the feelings and faith I had not knowing I carried this disease while pregnant and breast feeding but knowing something was terribly wrong. This is my story of healing and miracles. I pray it helps you in your journey. God is faithful!
The Camille Chronicles…
Fire in the Iceberg
November 2018
Cold sets in -Delirium
Chills rush through-Submersion
Drenched in the heaviness of my own sweat-Drowning
Is this it?
Tumor as large as a glacier pierces my chest-Dying
I shiver, Please, no more
But it emerges pass tissue and blood -it settles
There is an iceberg inside of me
Poison runs deep- Engulfed
My mind is cloudy with fear-Darkness
But there is a spark that sets fire to ice- Light
There is a element inside the watery depths
There is a victor over a acidic grave
I feel the fire overtake me
and it frightens the enemy
I feel it -burning
I feel it -consuming
I feel it melting the dark Arctic death cells away
Outside there is no proof of a disturbance
but there is a fire erupting on the inside
Fire that spreads through my lymphatic system
It shrinks the monster of my anatomy
Until he has no power, until he has no insight- Blinded
The spirit of animation trumps the spirit of deterioration
I want you to know I started that fire
With one spark He birthed inside of me
That once was dormant and is now free
Fire that shrinks mass destructions
Fire that stops the cold from settling in
Fire within
You have the fire
I have the fire
Set it off. We win
The iceberg of my soul has been defeated by a Supernatural- Human
December 2018
Waiting Still
You tell me to Be Still
In a world that revolves
How can one not be moving?
You tell me to wait on you
Where can you be if you are Omnipresent?
Ever shifting
You tell me to know you are God.
Then why is everything out of control?
You have the answers
yet you mute them
I have the pain
Where can I soothe them?
Day by Day you say eat the manna from Heaven
Night by Night I look at what was digested in the toilet
That’s what Manifested
Weight at a lost, still I wait on the road for something great
I wait on the side of life for what you promised
to be Abundant Life
Like ‘Waiting for Godot’ a series of repeats
Where is the springing up relief?
After you promised me newness
After you promised me eagles wings
Though the weakness has made me weary
Though the intrusion has made me faint
Is there a light to guide me above these evil wretched things?
A place to rest? Oh yes, the grave is one.
A shore to lay upon and roast in the morning sun
I have a choice
A choice to die
Or a choice to wait
The load is heavy and my arms are bony yet I wait
You promised green pastures beyond this road
I can’t see them from here
But I wait
I sigh, close my eyes drop my heavy burdens, buckle down
and wait.
I Speak
God speaks through the Holy Spirit
Christ speaks through the Holy Spirit
So we speak through the Holy Spirit
Yet we don’t
There is freedom of chains
yet we won’t break
addictions, habits, hang ups, mess ups
we can’t pick up the broken pieces to see the whole frame
and we are scared we will get cut
yet we can
How? you say
God gave us the Holy Spirit
And in his image you reign
How? You say
Through the Comforter, the Holy Spirit
Pick up that broken piece and see what I see
He has given me a crown I wear it for you
so you can see yourself too
Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Liberty
Prisoners are set free
He seeks those that seek Him
Let Him speak
Let His light come through to renew you
And you will see it’s not just me
I am the mirror of the Holy Trinity
