Battle Scars of Gratitude

---

Ever wonder why you keep getting hit on the same side? Are you wearing All of your protection? Let's go deeper into this familiar Ephesians scripture,

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

That's a lot of demons and fallen angels...how can we fight them all? That's a lot of officers in the army of evil… all with different assignments to steal from you and eventually destroy your mind, and your body.

How can we identify them all?

The crazy thing is in Christ the enemy can never destroy our Spirit. Our spirit is safe, off limits, it has already been saved. However, don't forget your armor. As we live this life we have to fight daily to protect our soul (mind &emotions) and our body. God gives us armor to put on every single day. But hey we are human and flawed. Sometimes we forget a piece and sometimes we may forget the whole thing. The enemy; like a hungry wolf can sniff out our weak side, the side that's off guard and attack with his pack. Be sure you leave no side uncovered. Here are your suiting up essentials:

Belt of Truth

Buckle up with truth. Walk in the light. Stay away from the dark side. We can tell the difference. Always yearn to know more about The Kingdom of God and not the Kingdom of this world. Ask for godly wisdom everyday. And tightened that belt!

Breastplate of Righteousness

We are the righteousness of God. Christ has made us right not by our own good because we are not that good and will never be. But Christ is and will always be so it's all good. Stop thinking it's wrong. There's nothing we can do to earn his goodness. So stop trying and just put on your breastplate. Everyday “say I am the righteousness of God.” And it is so.

Gospel of Peace

Do you know everywhere we tread there will be peace? But we have to acknowledge that peace and speak it in the atmosphere. “Great is my peace! Everywhere I walk I'm bringing peace in this place. I’m walking into peace.” I don’t care what the situation looks like or sounds like General you are in God's army now. So anoint your feet. These feet were made for peace!

Helmet of Salvation

Our mind, our mind, our mind is so precious. There rests our emotions and thoughts, our creativity and the very image of God. People think our bodies are created in the image of God but that's just our shell. An earthly spacesuit to dwell in this world. But its what's behind the Astro suit that is Godlike, the soul. We are the only ones on the earth that possess a soul. Our souls were saved when we gave our lives to Christ. But what are we doing after that? Are we feeding our soul with good healthy food to help it grow or are we filling our minds with high fructose self destroying toxins and tonics that grow tumors of fear, lust, vanity and anxiety and then some? Stuff we already have that we are trying to shrink. Our salvation should be the focal point of gratitude not the focal point of glutton-tude.

Sword of the Spirit

The Holy Spirit has a sword it's called the Word of God. Use much? It's there to fight our battles. It's the grenade that will set off when the enemy is advancing. But how can the Spirit do His job if you don’t speak up? Use the word of God for any and all of your situations and that sword will appear. Just what you need to slice and dice the superficial distractions of our not so low enemy.

Shield of Faith

Sure we may come out of the attack with a few battle scars but we are stronger, wiser, better for the next time. Without our battle scars we wouldn't have experience, we wouldn't get to share our testimony, we wouldn't be able to teach others. It wouldn't be a real fight without a few cuts and bruises. I actually think my battle scars makes me look like a tough chick. But remember to hold up your shield of faith and protect that beautiful face of yours. The battle is won.

Let's be grateful we get to tell our story.

What have you survived?

P.S. Don’t forget to pray in the Spirit we always forget that part.

Triple Threat

So we have these three witnesses — the Spirit, the water, and the blood—and all three agree. 1 John 5:7‭-‬8 NLT

The enemy wants us to lose bad. He wants to belly laugh when our efforts at a good successful life plummets head first in the dirt of despair. But little does this fool creature know we dont do things in our own strength we have a protective covering, we are bulletproof and our wearwithal is titanium based. We are indestructible because Earth is not our final destination. It is a level we master to level up and while we are here we bear fruit for our eternal home. The home he is forever banished from and for this he loathes the very oxygen we breathe. He wants to be us and it's never going to happen.

We transformed from ‘Ghouls to Jewels’ when Jesus redeemed our souls and lucifer shamefully went from Jeweled Out to a Crummy little wannabe. His story is a sad damnation, our story is a glorious coronation. He is so sour with saltiness his forever flavor is bitterness. Our salt is like butter to the Earth blessed and highly flavored (pun on favor) but of course you knew that. And what he never wants you to know is how much of a Triple Threat you are. He wants you to always disguise yourself as less. Always a beggar never knowing your true identity is a child of the King. If you knew your worth the warlock would melt just like the Wicked Witch of the West when Dorothy splashed her with water. Our water is the Word of God.

If you knew your purpose demons would be slayed just by you entering in the room. If you knew your gifting and authority the master of deceit would have to run away screaming his devious butt off, relinquishing the stuff he stole.

Sooo what is our triple threat?

With the loving provision of the Father who breathed life into us we have the ability to create anew.

With the saving grace of Jesus our Messiah we can speak and situations shift.

With the power of the Holy Spirit we can discern atmospheres, speak in the language of heaven and enter in the realm of the impossible.

Best believe satan would no longer be causing chaos and nonsense if we use the garments of the Trinity well! If we slayed in the spirit the same way we slay in fashion, beauty and clap backs that poisonous venomous viper would be a piece of luggage sold on QVC for half his price, basically meaning he would be a giveaway. And that would be the end of him, he would be no more.

But we walk around with a reverse Triple T of Tired, Timid and Touchy. We catch an attitude with the quickness with the wrong perpetrator! Let’s stop fighting our fam and fight the one who wants to destroy our very inheritance. Let's stop walking around like lost puppies from outer space while the enemy is roaming around like a lion seeing who he can devour. Lets get the target off our backs and put it on his. Let's get our laughter back, let's get our loveliness back, let's get our luster back. Let's be the Triple Threat we were always meant to be. Our God is the OTT (Original Triple Threat) but of course you knew that too.

Love you guys! Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might!

TheParableGirl

Just My Imagination or Nah? From Ghoul to Jewel Series

Are we allowing Fear, Worry or Perversion to consume our imagination? Or Hope, Purity and Faith?

Fix your Thoughts on what is True, Honorable and Pure.

Are we using our imaginations for things that are true, honorable and pure?

Or are we giving honor to a false god, a perverse image of god or the god of self?

God gave us creativity when he made us in his image. He also gave to us imagination, a part of his own mind that allows us to think beyond what we see. As children we used this gift often now we use it a few times a day, mainly to wish our lives were better…

But do you know God wants us to take that gift of imagination and use it for good? Better yet let's take it a step further to say he wants our imagination to take what is not seen and manifest it to something we can see. Naysayers will say its witchcraft its sorcery but Bible believers know better. Just read the story of Moses, of Abraham and Sarah, of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Power was in Moses’s words, Power was in Abraham's seed and power was in Sarah's womb and power was with the three Hebrew boys in the fiery furnace that day. Power walked into the world and left power for us to receive. There's power in you. But first we have to imagine it will be.

Our imagination is a tool to build the things the world hasn't seen yet. We can use it for good or we can use it for evil. God always gives us choice.

On one side we can choose God's imagination which holds Hope, Expectation and Faith in one hand or Satan's imagination which holds the keys to Fear, Worry and Perversion in one hand. Your imagination is a real entity created by God; who used his imagination to create a universe for us to inhabit and a heaven for us to call home.

We have a choice: either way we have control over our imaginations and what we allow to manifest {good things or evil things.}

Your imagination is a real entity created by God; who used his imagination to create a universe for us to inhabit and a heaven for us to call home.

What will you do with yours?

Sister Scriptures: Philippians 4.8 & 4.6&7

Edit Fear Out!

If you are in control of your own story fear doesn't have to get a speaking part in any of it. Actually it can just get edited out. Here's how:

"Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

Sure it's the season for spooks and weird creepy movies that we pay to see which return the favor by keeping us up at night but it doesn't have to be. This can be the season we turn up the shine on fear and send it back to oblivion where it belongs. This season we can cast shade on every shadow of death and evil until it finds someone else to terrorize. Listen to what your Maker says about fear, In place of fear God has given us power (Himself), love (Jesus, our sweet savior) and a sound mind (the Holy Spirit🔥). My my my what an incomparable tradeoff.

So instead of worrying and allowing fear to take over your actions, your thoughts, your decisions …edit it out of your life. Scratch it, shred it, crumble it, erase it. Do what you have to do to make it Go! Then insert your Triple Threat (Power. Love. Sound Mind) in the blank spaces. The power of a Triune God will make the enemy’s plan freeze in failure. With God on our side who can be against us -definitely not some wimpy devil trick or fearing on our doorstep. He has officially been kicked to the curb!

Psalms 23:4 2Timothy 1.7 Romans 8.31

The Parable Girl Speaks….

Just Me.

That's just me. That's how I am...

But I am crucified with Christ "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

To someone familiar we speak "Cause you know me, that's how I get down!"

"That's how I am-

"That's my personality-

“You know how Virgos are-

-that's why I act this way!"

That's all well and good when we were living with our old self but once we let that old self die when we give our life to Christ, you have to let your excuses die too. You know the power of God is greater than any zodiac sign or personality type.

You know the power of God is greater than any zodiac sign or personality type.

Even when we go back there sometimes because let's face it we will from time to time (try to act like the person we were before God changed us) we have to be convicted and know how to autocorrect. We have to realize when our words and behavior needs to change to sound more like the one who saved us and transformed us. So everything we are is Christ, everything we speak is Christ even when we think people can't hear us. We should always be Christly.

We show people our good side on the job, at church, to strangers but do we do it to people we are most familiar with like our family, our friends, our selves? If we call ourselves a student of Christ saying “that's just me” after a blow up just doesn't cut it. If we say we are studying His word to get better saying harsh words as a joke just won't do. We have to catch ourselves when the old self starts to rise up and try to erase everything we are working to fix. The old self can ruin a relationship with a shrug of the shoulders, the old self can go on a judgmental tirade, the old self can put you back on the streets, the old self can leave you with shame and a bucket full of regrets. So why choose that old part of you? Why keep giving it life when you are made new? When people from your past try to tell you who you are dust away those comments and say that was the old me. Let the Glo up be real from the inside out.

Galatians 2.20

How has Christ made you Glo- up? Please comment below! Love you guys!

Christian Monologues That Slay

1. Why, Me?

The woman can be a teen or a female in her early 20s. She is a tough girl, she has seen a lot, been through a lot, basically raised on the streets kinda of girl. When you perform this monologue there has to be an easy harshness about you. You know the term rough around the edges..That's her! She is use to treating people like trash until one day nobody cares about her. So she decides to end it all until The Healer comes into her life and nothing is ever the same again...

The streets taught me how to be tough, heartless, cold, how to permanently damage with my words and my fists. How to please a man. The streets taught me how to survive… Nothing scared me, nothing got in my way, no one stopped me from getting what I wanted when I wanted it. I was the boss and the world was on my side. I had parties, had loads of follower’s, wannabe’s, fans even my enemies wanted to be like me. I had all the power…

Until someone who was smarter, prettier, stronger, colder came and took my glory, she took everything and now I don’t shine. She came out of nowhere I wasn’t prepared, now no one is afraid of me anymore, no one wants to listen to me, no one wants to be like me, no one sees me, no one loves me, I am sorry for what I done but no one forgives me. I’m not IT anymore, they forgot about me. Look at me, pathetic, filthy, and used, worthless he said he would love me forever – but – he lied. I am nothing but an empty shell. Depressed, lonely, insecure, heartbroken, worthless,, So this is what it comes down to…

(Picks up knife and hold it to throat) Eighteen years of my life suddenly ends – until a voice calls to me. He is wise, perfect in every dimension, stainless, and he tells me to put the blade down. He tells me he cares, he tells me he loves me beyond my faults, he tells me he could erase my past, he tells me he will restore my body, he tells me with him all things are new, he tells me he has a purpose and a plan for me and suddenly I am born again.

No one has ever spoken to me the way he does. He speaks to my heart. He has taught me for the first time how to love and now love is with me everywhere I go… it’s strange, people I use to scare just follow this light inside me. I don’t know why he cared enough to call me. But I’m so glad he did. When I ask him why me? He simply says when life fails, when you fail, my love never fails.

2. No Filter

Zion

This monologue is from my upcoming novel, Another Realm, named after my dance group. Zion is the leader and choreographer of the group Another Realm. Everyone has left and she is alone. She feels like her world is crashing in on her, but she knows what she is called to do. She stands up coming from a crumbled place. At first, she is furious with God and his calling over her life but towards the end her countenance changes and she is ready to take on the world. Zion should be played by someone in their early to mid-twenties.

I can't do this without you! (screaming at the top of her lungs) Do you hear me? No smoke, no lights, no special effects. Just me and your spirit. And I know how you do. I just don't know how you do it! With your spirit the sick are well, I want that. With your spirit the blind can see and the deaf can hear. I need that. With your spirit the dead are raised. I heard about a few from the Bible ...with your spirit we see heaven come down and with your help we can bring it down. In Jesus Name, you have given me the keys to unlock miracles, the secrets of Another Realm are revealed. That I will never take credit for, you have forgiven every mistake and I have a long list. I'm grateful. When I am weak you are strong. I know I have plenty of weaknesses. But you have made me mighty. You break the mold when you create. You set me apart. (chuckles) Beauty dies, youth fades but your love never fails. You have the popular vote, you are the one I stand for forever and ever. Let's Go!

3. The Parable Girl's Paradise

Cynthia

Cynthia is homeless and lives in a sleeping bag. She sleeps and begs for money at this same train station everyday for the last two years but today something is different. She feels the women around her are hurting just as much as she is so she decides to tell her story. Cynthia steps out of her sleeping bag and admires the women around her. Cynthia should be played by a woman in her late 30's to early 40's.

My name is Cynthia. You know I wasn’t always in a sleeping bag.” (She laughs when every eye shifts away from her. She continues to walk around stopping to speak to a frozen silhouette of a woman). “I took showers every morning and night just like you!” (The shadow scurries away. When she realizes no one wants her close she sits on the bench and looks out at the water.) “I can’t say I was rich or famous, now that would be a lie. Can’t say I had any special gift or talent that would certainly be a lie.” (Someone blurts out an occupation that gives way to chuckles and a few smirks). “I never was a prostitute. I never sold my body! I promised myself I would never do that. I had an apartment. I paid my bills. I was a secretary of a big shot executive. I was making dough! I was the fastest typist in the department. Anything he gave me I would hand it back to him flawless. Any directive given I made it happen. I was never late for work always early. My boss was young, smart as a whip, very attractive and married. I was engaged to a loving man about to give me a wonderful marriage. But we spent late nights together. Over take out we got to know each other more than anyone else on the job. My vision was blurred, and I slept with him over and over again. I made love to him and went home and made love to my fiancé. I could have kept it a secret and married my fiancé that same month, but I was a fraud. I had to tell. I told my fiancé. I said, “Fred I’ve been sleeping with my boss for six months and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But that wouldn’t do he went to the office and gave my boss six stitches and a huge hematoma on his chest. I was fired with no benefits and I my dream marriage was given to another more worthy than I. Fred married a pretty pure girl the next year. And I’ve been traveling in this sleeping bag ever since. I hope ya'll enjoy ya selves with ya tickets to Paradise Island. (under breath) Wish I could get a ticket. (Goes back into sleeping bag)

4. The Parable Girl's Paradise

Mia

The girl watches the lady lie back in her sleeping bag and looks up at the sky. She looks at her ticket and thinks about giving the ticket to the sleeping bag lady but quickly pushes it back in her pocket. Mia walks over to give the lady her last cube of gum. Mia has hidden secrets of sexual abuse from her mom and now after many years she is running away from home. She paid for her ticket with money from her savings account. She has nothing left. Mia is slowly coming out of her naivety. Mia should be played by a mature 12 to 15 year old or young looking 16 to 18 year old.

You’re welcome! Did you know Cynthia is another name for Cinderella? So even though you had a rough life there is a happy ending somewhere down the road. (Everyone turns and watches their interaction. As if she knows she is being watched, Mia takes her time letting her words roll off her tongue). You know people say you have so much wisdom for a young girl. I think it comes from my dad and my Uncle Craig. They always would tell me bedtime stories only these bedtime stories had a twist. It was a trade. I do something for you and you will do something for me. I learned at a very young age that is what life is about. Honey nothing is for free. This ticket wasn’t free! It cost all my money in my bank account. I have 75 cent to spare. I know.. practically nothing left. My daddy and Uncle Craig always said I deserve the best because I was a sweetie. A real princess. I come a line of princesses way back in history. I come from royalty they were able to prove it. They showed me my family tree. ( Mia is beaming with pride as she remembers all her accomplishments). At home I have crowns from beauty pageants I won. I have trophies from talent shows. I am the longest breath holder in my county, says so on the plaque. I can pop gum the longest too. In my room I have so many crowns and dolls I gave up counting. My daddy and uncle Craig would buy anything that I ask because I give them it back in return. ( Her smile drops as she remembers the pain and shame). But girls shouldn’t have to give back in return! They should just be listened to and kissed and loved just because..Princess Mia is gone. Goodbye daddy and Uncle Craig. I will never trade with you again. ( Mia turns back to an innocent child) Mia is on a voyage. This ticket will take her to see a real kingdom with a king that is kind and gentle. All paradises have a king you know. This one will love me.

5. A Man Worth Waiting For...

(Reading Song of Solomon)

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth

For your love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes,

Your name is like perfume poured out.”

(Stops reading)

Your name is like perfume poured out.

OK God -I can’t take this any longer!

Where the he-heaven is he??

I’ve been waiting for years and all I get are guys who smell funky and talk a whole lotta game.

I’m tired of waiting, waiting and waiting and waiting.

So where is this sweet smelling good kisser? I’m a virtuous woman, where is my virtuous man? Where? I don’t see him. Something just made a sound. Maybe he is hiding behind that dumpster? Nope only a raccoon. Here I am alone just waiting for my Boaz to put a ring on it!

Father, can he be strong and tall with great arms?

Full lips with perfect teeth with a smile that lights up a room?

And have athletic legs with big fee-

Wait a minute- what am I saying??

Lord you know what’s right for me and you have perfect timing. What am I anxious about? I trust you with the man you bring into my life, whatever he may look like, when he comes let me be the woman he has been waiting for inside and out. Therefore I won’t complain about the wait because he will be all that and then some – in YOU- truly a man worth waiting for-“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires...” (Picks up Bible and reads walking off stage)

Hope you enjoy! There are more to come! Which one do you like best?

CJ Cooley is the creator and author of The Parable Girl and The Parable Girl Speaks, Part of The Parable Girl Series.

To God Be the Glory!

“To God be the glory forever and ever! Amen.”

If someone were to ask me why do you say, “To God be the Glory”? This is how I would respond, nothing stupendous, nothing accomplished, no miracles, no wonders, no good doctor’s report, no talent, no skill, no check on the list, no Wisdom Wednesday is done in my own power. All good things come from above. There is nothing good I have done to take credit for because He is the potter and I am the clay. His magnificent hands takes my broken ones and forms it for use. He is the wind and I am the sail. He is the satellite and I am the port. I can’t go far without Him walking ahead of me. I can’t move without His animation. I can’t inspire without His enlightenment. So let’s give God the loudest handclap, the longest standing ovation! For your body functioning properly, to God be the glory! For bills being paid on time, to God be the glory! For getting that new job, to God be the glory! For staying planted in divine soil in a world of uprooted chaos, to God be the glory! For keeping cool when someone presses all the buttons on your elevator, to God be the glory! Next time you get a pat on the back say to God be the glory for all the great things He has done! He deserves all the credit.

Galatians 1:5

The Camille Chronicles

This is the story of my recent and current journey over the past year. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in January 2019. I have written poems to express the feelings and faith I had not knowing I carried this disease while pregnant and breast feeding but knowing something was terribly wrong. This is my story of healing and miracles. I pray it helps you in your journey. God is faithful!

The Camille Chronicles…

Fire in the Iceberg

November 2018

Cold sets in -Delirium

Chills rush through-Submersion

Drenched in the heaviness of my own sweat-Drowning

Is this it?

Tumor as large as a glacier pierces my chest-Dying

I shiver, Please, no more

But it emerges pass tissue and blood -it settles

There is an iceberg inside of me

Poison runs deep- Engulfed

My mind is cloudy with fear-Darkness

But there is a spark that sets fire to ice- Light

There is a element inside the watery depths

There is a victor over a acidic grave

I feel the fire overtake me

and it frightens the enemy

I feel it -burning

I feel it -consuming

I feel it melting the dark Arctic death cells away

Outside there is no proof of a disturbance

but there is a fire erupting on the inside

Fire that spreads through my lymphatic system

It shrinks the monster of my anatomy

Until he has no power, until he has no insight- Blinded

The spirit of animation trumps the spirit of deterioration

I want you to know I started that fire

With one spark He birthed inside of me

That once was dormant and is now free

Fire that shrinks mass destructions

Fire that stops the cold from settling in

Fire within

You have the fire

I have the fire

Set it off. We win

The iceberg of my soul has been defeated by a Supernatural- Human

December 2018

Waiting Still

You tell me to Be Still

In a world that revolves

How can one not be moving?

You tell me to wait on you

Where can you be if you are Omnipresent?

Ever shifting

You tell me to know you are God.

Then why is everything out of control?

You have the answers

yet you mute them

I have the pain

Where can I soothe them?

Day by Day you say eat the manna from Heaven

Night by Night I look at what was digested in the toilet

That’s what Manifested

Weight at a lost, still I wait on the road for something great

I wait on the side of life for what you promised

to be Abundant Life

Like ‘Waiting for Godot’ a series of repeats

Where is the springing up relief?

After you promised me newness

After you promised me eagles wings

Though the weakness has made me weary

Though the intrusion has made me faint

Is there a light to guide me above these evil wretched things?

A place to rest? Oh yes, the grave is one.

A shore to lay upon and roast in the morning sun

I have a choice

A choice to die

Or a choice to wait

The load is heavy and my arms are bony yet I wait

You promised green pastures beyond this road

I can’t see them from here

But I wait

I sigh, close my eyes drop my heavy burdens, buckle down

and wait.

I Speak

God speaks through the Holy Spirit

Christ speaks through the Holy Spirit

So we speak through the Holy Spirit

Yet we don’t

There is freedom of chains

yet we won’t break

addictions, habits, hang ups, mess ups

we can’t pick up the broken pieces to see the whole frame

and we are scared we will get cut

yet we can

How? you say

God gave us the Holy Spirit

And in his image you reign

How? You say

Through the Comforter, the Holy Spirit

Pick up that broken piece and see what I see

He has given me a crown I wear it for you

so you can see yourself too

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Liberty

Prisoners are set free

He seeks those that seek Him

Let Him speak

Let His light come through to renew you

And you will see it’s not just me

I am the mirror of the Holy Trinity

Me receiving a treatment February 2019

The Camille Chronicles

This is me on a my journey. Before I was married. Before having my baby. I was just Camille. I had just moved from New York City to Atlanta. I became a teacher and starting dating my God Chosen Husband which I write about in the book The Parable Girl I wrote years before. I am happy, strong, ambitious (I hoped to apply for skydiving training and get my license that spring) faith filled and healthy. But little did I know I had a Thing growing inside of me that would interrupt my way of life.

After two years of ziplining, hiking, ATV adventures, horseback riding, mini golf, working in the same school and summer breaks I married my God Chosen Husband June of 2017. I learned communication and love languages is key in the 1st year. I learned to rely on God for every situation that arose in my household and to create an atmosphere of peace. Although marriage is not easy when two people learn to love unselfishly barriers can be broken. While preparing for the wedding pain and rashes erupted on the left side of my chest which I believe stemmed from a past injury. As I went from doctor to doctor time was running out. I planned to wear a strapless gown and the breakout looked like a legion on my chest. I prayed it would go away. On my wedding day it was still there so a wonderful and extremely talented makeup artist covered my skin so it looked radiant and blemish free. Thank God for makeup artists!

And then over the summer it just faded away. But I would still have inflammation and burning sensations. Then I found out I was pregnant in the fall. I prepared to have my baby girl in the spring 2018! But throughout my pregnancy the lump rose like a mole hill on my chest. It looked weirdly abnormal like I was apart of a Sci-fi film. It wasn't until April only a month away from my delivery that the doctors sent me to a specialist and advised me to get a CT Scan. The CT revealed a huge mass on my left side filling out my lung and corroding the bone around it. I was considered highly at risk. Doctors advised a scheduled C- section. But I didn't want that. I was strong enough for a vaginal birth. Before this I was instructing 1st graders, teaching dance class, exercising and living out a normal pregnant life, now I was being treated like a fragile case study. The mass they found was indistinguishable and went without a name. Could all of this have stemmed from the falling accident? No one could give me the answer. I knew I was given the job to bring a healthy baby into this world with or without a mass and that’s just what I did; vaginally.

Leila Harper was born May 18th 2018 with no complications. My Father was looking out for his daughters. I never stopped trusting he would come through during the rocky end of my pregnancy. He gave me a sweet delivery and a precocious, bubbly wide eyed child. She came into the world rolling her eyes. Yes, she was undeniably mine. It was like she was saying, “Mommy look how easy this was, you got this.” But little did I know the storm wasn’t over…

Moving Mountains: Leila Harper's Birth Story

tPhilippians 4:6-8

Philippians 4:6-8

Philippians 4: 6-8

Be anxious for nothing but through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known to God and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart an mind in Christ Jesus. 

Ever deal with something bigger than what you thought it would be? I found myself asking God throughout this journey, "How did I get here?" Of course I know the answer of how I got pregnant but I didn't expect all the events that transpired after.

Anyone that really knows me knows I love an adventure. Roller coasters, water slides with the dark tunnels, ziplining high above the trees, skydiving thousands of feet above that's my kind of adventure. 

This journey is not that. This was not fun but I never doubted my God would see me through, through it all.

This is the story of Leila Harper's entrance into the world and her momma, wild at heart momma, that carried her despite doctor's reports.

Four years ago I found myself at a NYC bouldering club. I know what is a black girl from the Bronx doing bouldering anyway? That's just how I roll. Finding strength to climb all the way to  the top I found myself struggling to get down without any assistance from the climbers I had to jump several feet to the ground when my fingers started slipping. Ouch! Weeks later I developed a large hemotoma on my petite sized chest. That was my last time bouldering.

Doctors in NY told me it was bruise that would go away with time.

The next year I started a new job in Atlanta as an elementary teacher. I started dating this cute, funny guy and we got married two years after. Two months after we were married I found out I was pregnant! A lot happening in a short matter of time! But it was everything I prayed for so it was all good. When God answers prayers he doesn't give you the time it will manifest just be ready when they do!

Meanwhile, this thing in my chest was like a science experiment changing from a rash, to a bump, lumps, discolored spots. I received a biopsy two months before my wedding revealing it to be blood and tissue. I promised I would do something about it after I got married. After the wedding it went away...so I thought. 

My pregnancy started like any normal one. My 1st sonogram showed a healthy and strong heartbeat. The picture identified this tiny figure hanging on like a cliffhanger from the top of my uterus.
Undeniable mine. 

Month after month Leila hit every milestone. Checkup after checkup confirmed the definite health of my baby girl. My husband and I were on the road to being proud beaming parents. 

I taught 1st grade through the all day sickness I was experiencing and even taught dance afterschool. My dance group was preparing for the school's production of The Lion King Jr. I was unstoppable with my ever increasing baby bump!

That is until I had a doctors appointment with a hematologists; recommended because of low iron found in my blood. The doctor was alarmed at my high pulse and recommended I go to the ER after attempts of bringing it down failed. As I sat there with cancer patients receiving treatment I was very calm telling myself this will be over soon and I will go and enjoy my spring break.

But it was not over. The ER doctors recommend I get a CT Scan. All I could think about was Leila Harper.  "C'mon God I'm 8 months pregnant. Why did this have to happen now? I hate hospitals and here I am stuck in one during my spring break 8 months pregnant. What is going on? I'm healthy and strong. I teach dance!" They warned me refusal can cost me my baby's life and my life. CT results showed a large mass located in my left chest wall. That's when everything flipped. Doctors began to treat me like glass slipping from shaky hands. 

This was my mountain. This is where my faith comes in. Years of trusting and believing a big God helped me face doctors with a firm assurance that I would move this mountain. I was having faith for me and my baby that was a double portion. 

After a needle biopsy and numerous lung and heart tests and ultrasounds I was released with instructions to take it easy and prepare for induction to get the baby out early. 

I was able to make it 40  weeks staying at home the rest of my pregnancy. 

“When two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst.”

My husband, mother, family and friends never stopped trusting God. I had to be still and trust God that he would see me through and give me the labor I desired. The day before I was scheduled to be induced my OB doctor gives me the chilling news that the anesthesiologist refused to perform anesthesia on me nervous of the effects due to the mass. They were transferring to another hospital with a stronger history in my complication. To make a long journey shorter the hospital they transferred me to refused to perform anesthesia just in case I needed it. So they were transferring me again! So they transported me to Emory Midtown; at this point I was weary but not downhearted because I knew my mountain was moving so I could have the best team of doctors. I was transferred via ambulance to the new location. Through contractions, highway bumps and gurney straps I told myself be anxious for nothing we were God's daughters and he had us in the palm of his hand.

I had the attitude if no doctor was willing to deliver my child God would send an angel to perform delivery that's how much he loves me and Leila Harper! Wednesday I was admitted into Emory and Friday morning at 6:09 am Leila Harper was born into the hands of confident  kindhearted professionals. My mountain was demolished. My faith and God's grace had everything to do with that!

Strong and alert little Leila looked at her mommy and smiled. What a journey. What they told me I couldn't do I did. They said I wasn't strong enough to push and I pushed her out in ten to eleven pushes. 

“Be strong in the Lord and the power of his might!”

God always takes care of children. That's some kind of love! Whatever the situation you are going through know that God is in control. All you have to do is have faith that whatever you ask he will do it. If you ask for healing, it is done. If you ask for his protection it is done. If you ask for his forgiveness it is done. When you accept Jesus as your personal Savior you are adopted into God's family and there is nothing that can separate you from his love!

My song for this whole situation is Travis Green's "Made a Way"

and I kept singing" You move mountains! You cause walls to fall! In your power perform miracles! There is nothing that's impossible! And I'm standing here only because you made a way!" 

One day I will tell Leila Harper the story of how her God moved a mountain on her and her mother's behalf.